just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
