why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i think my cat just said my name.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
