I wish I could teleport
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
