This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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