guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
