so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
