i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
