I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
