dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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