I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
