There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
