He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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