If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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