I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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