The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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