buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
