Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
