why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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