everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
