I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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