the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
