Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
