She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
