i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
