Define "chronic" masturbator.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
and she was petting her beer can
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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