are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
