I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
