so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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