But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
