a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
