Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
