So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
