That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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