god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
