so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize