Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
