Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Randomize
