Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
