I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
