after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
