I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
