i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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