Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I want to have your abortion
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i think i have two assholes
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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