How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
