there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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