I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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