Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
