Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
