I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
