Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
