Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
